No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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