he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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