I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You pole danced in your parka.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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