Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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