okay pat passed out under dana's car
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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