You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
