Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
