It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
