fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Say something about gay babies.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
