I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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