so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
