I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
