I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
