You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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