so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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