I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
