We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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