wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
