I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
