she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
