Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
