I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
