so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
