saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
