we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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