I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
