I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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