You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize