Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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