took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize