shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
