No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
