I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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