Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
