if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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