we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
