I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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