so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
