Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
