the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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