My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
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