theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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