Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
