Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
