I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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