FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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