Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
