I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
