having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
