Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There r osticjed everywhere
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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