She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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