YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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