my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I look better un-naked...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
