Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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