Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
