So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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