so that wasnt chicken after all
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize