Already got asked if we're dating
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
