You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
