My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Randomize
