idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
