Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
