CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Randomize
