Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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