Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
