So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
