Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
