His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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